Paying on the first date

Something I want to discuss while it’s fresh on my mind is the topic of paying on the first date. I have a female friend who actually refuses to let the guy pay on their first date. I welcome a guy who wants to pay for me. I like to believe that chivalry is not dead, and if you, the guy, are interested in a girl then offering to pay for her drink or movie ticket is an easy way to show that you like her.

But I try not to be disappointed if the guy doesn’t offer to pay for me on our first meeting. I used to think that such behavior reflected badly on the guy, but I think it’s important – at least for online dating – to view the first meeting as “date zero” rather than the first date, because you’re really complete strangers at this point. You can’t expect much. If your first meeting goes well and you schedule another outing together then the 2nd outing can be considered the first date, and hopefully then the guy will pay, for at least a portion of your stuff over the course of the date. If a guy doesn’t offer to pay for me then I assume he’s not really interested in me or is only interested in friendship.

Sorry guys, but some traditions and customs exist for a good reason.

This reminds me of a terrible first date I had 7 years ago when I met someone from Match.com at a neighborhood bar. I had to pay for his drinks and mine when at the end of the date he claimed he had no cash, nor did he offer to use a credit or debit card. He just expected me to pay for him. Needless to say, there was no second date.