Cut the cord

I think I have finally cut the cord with CM (yes!). I made some important realizations over the last week about how unhealthy our relationship was and how we were never, ever going to get what it is we really want from each other. CM helped this along by sending me an e-mail admitting that he is “messed up” and comparing our relationship to that of the Edward Norton and Helena Bonham-Carter characters in Fight Club. This was accurate. And disturbing.

For a few days last week I enjoyed writing a guy named Michael on OkCupid. He seemed promising. We exchanged 4 or 5 e-mails. In his final e-mail he asked for my phone number. I went to reply and send him my number when my screen displayed a message that his profile could not be found: The user had deleted their account. WTF? Why would you engage someone in e-mail correspondence and ask for their number, then literally hours later delete your account? He and I have no way of contacting each other now. I am left to wonder whether he had a wife or GF on the scene who discovered his account and deleted it for him.

I received a new msg from someone on OkCupid today, but his screen name contains “69.” Sorry, this is an automatic dismissal. I’m a prude that way.

So I have no prospects. This is a very unsettling feeling for me. I don’t like it. I have plenty to keep busy with, but … argh. No prospects. I’m also trying eHarmony, which is a complete waste. That deserves its own post, to follow.

No reply

It’s discouraging when you send someone a message on a dating site and they don’t write back, especially when you try to be careful and only write to people with whom it seems you have things in common, and you make a point to reference items in their ad or profile to show that you are paying attention and are interested in them, not just desperate or a spammer.

This week on OkCupid I wrote a guy who is actually outside my preferred age rage (he’s 44), but he looked cute and seemed nice and creative (he’s a musician and a school teacher). I took his “MatchMe” test, which compares our answers on 10 or so questions about values, opinions, dating history, etc., and not just our own answers but how we would want our partner to respond. Well, I got a 100% match on the test with the 44-y.o., which is pretty much unheard of. After that I just had to write him. But he appears to be blowing off my message. I know that he logged in yesterday and looked at my profile. I guess 100% just isn’t impressive enough for him.

I know that there could be a lot of factors at work here… Maybe he just started seeing someone else. But maybe he’s intimidated or turned off by me – something I said in my e-mail or profile. If that is the case I’m curious what it is. What am I doing to turn away my 100% match?

I’ve had a couple other annoying experiences with OkCupid in which a guy will write me, seeming very interested and eager to hear back from me. I respond, and then after the 1st or 2nd mail I never hear from him again. Just yesterday a guy wrote to me for the first time and sent a significantly long message referencing specific subjects in my profile. When I went to respond to him this morning, I noticed that his profile had been completely deleted. Why would you write someone one day and then delete your profile the next?!

Maybe the issue here is that it is a free site, and people aren’t taking it seriously. Guess I need to fork over the moolah for Match.com.