Resurrection!

I’ve decided to resurrect the blog. I hope to post a couple times per week (fingers crossed).

Right now I’m not seriously dating anyone, but I have a profile on OkCupid and I still check Craigslist  (even though it’s a cesspool, in my opinion). I am *extremely* frustrated with dating and hope to find some comfort or insights by venting here. I have to admit though that I am feeling pretty hopeless.

Waiting in the wings

I took down my CL ad. It was too much trouble. I have a few good leads right now to work with and two first dates scheduled for this week! One of the dates is actually from Chemistry.com. I’ll call him The Fisherman, because he likes to fish (he’s cool though). I will have dinner with him on Friday. After this guy, I think I will have exhausted my resources at Chemistry.com. There are too many conservative guys on there. Friends don’t let friends date conservatives!!

My other date this week is someone from my ad who I’ll just call Dan b/c that’s his name. Safe enough. We’re planning to meet on Thursday at a bar/restaurant. I’m kind of feeling better about the Fisherman at this point, but we’ll see.

I’m still e-mailing with two other guys from my ad, which brings my total to four men currently in the wings, which is pretty overwhelming for me. Even though I haven’t met any of these guys yet, I am used to being a one-man woman. The juggling of casual dating does not come easy to me.

Even with all these guys to e-mail I am missing me ex more than ever. I actually considered going to Walgreen’s and picking up the kind of Tag body spray that he used to wear so I can spray it on my sheets and pillows. Seriously, it’s like I need a “fix” of him that bad.

I did write in my CL ad that I am getting over someone, but the Fisherman ala Chemistry.com does not know this. I hope it does not become an issue.

Paying on the first date

Something I want to discuss while it’s fresh on my mind is the topic of paying on the first date. I have a female friend who actually refuses to let the guy pay on their first date. I welcome a guy who wants to pay for me. I like to believe that chivalry is not dead, and if you, the guy, are interested in a girl then offering to pay for her drink or movie ticket is an easy way to show that you like her.

But I try not to be disappointed if the guy doesn’t offer to pay for me on our first meeting. I used to think that such behavior reflected badly on the guy, but I think it’s important – at least for online dating – to view the first meeting as “date zero” rather than the first date, because you’re really complete strangers at this point. You can’t expect much. If your first meeting goes well and you schedule another outing together then the 2nd outing can be considered the first date, and hopefully then the guy will pay, for at least a portion of your stuff over the course of the date. If a guy doesn’t offer to pay for me then I assume he’s not really interested in me or is only interested in friendship.

Sorry guys, but some traditions and customs exist for a good reason.

This reminds me of a terrible first date I had 7 years ago when I met someone from Match.com at a neighborhood bar. I had to pay for his drinks and mine when at the end of the date he claimed he had no cash, nor did he offer to use a credit or debit card. He just expected me to pay for him. Needless to say, there was no second date.